Left Behind

The plastic red swing was worn and soft beneath my legs. I was just six years old and swinging on the Sears School playground. My mom waited in our minivan for my sister to get out of school. I couldn’t see our car from my place on the swing. I quickly got lost in my own world of trying to touch the fluffy white clouds above me with my light up sneakers. Pumping my legs as hard as I could to get higher and higher, I didn’t realize the bell had rung and school had ended. My sister and mom left without me.

My greatest fear:
Being alone.

I knew from day one that he was going to be my best friend. I knew he would like all the same things as me. I thought we would never leave each other’s side. I was wrong. Our secret club meetings were held above my garage, we decorated it with a disco ball and N’sync posters. Each day after school we would bring a bag of gummy bears and coke up to our hideaway. It was always hot and stuffy up there but we didn’t care. It was ours and no one could take it away from us. The discussions revolved around spying on our siblings, stealing diaries, and trying to get two beds and a t.v into our clubhouse. We were more then best friends, we were like family. Then one day he left.

I slept with my t.v on until I was nine; the sound of voices in the room helped me fall asleep. I still sleep in the middle of the bed. If I sleep on one side it reminds me that no one is on the other.


As my game continues on the swing I begin to notice the sun disappearing. The clouds are no longer white and puffy, but dark and heavy. A faint grumble approaches me from behind. I don’t want to touch the sky anymore; I run from the playground in the direction of my car. What I discovered was an empty parking lot. A drop of water runs down my face. It wasn’t raining yet.

I am now a senior in high school and up until three days ago I had been dating the same guy for two years. He was the voice in my room at night that helped me fall asleep. He was that best friend who moved away. And now he isn’t. Who will fill that void?

That was it. His dad got a new job in Connecticut and they had to move. I felt my heart break for the first time in my life. I was in fifth grade and my best friend was leaving. As we said our goodbyes we promised to stay in touch and promised we would visit each other as much as we could. We both wound up disappointed. I stood on my driveway the day he moved and watched his minivan drive away until I couldn’t see it anymore. I haven’t heard from him in two years. Our clubhouse is vacant and I was left to play alone.

In less then twenty days I will blow out eighteen candles. My wish: to never end up alone. After that, I will be considered an adult. Can adults have fears?

My light-up sneakers were my only comfort in the rapidly darkening sky. I now sat under an overhang near the school’s front door. I closed my eyes and hugged my knees as if I was holding on to someone else. A brightness penetrated my closed lids. There before me was the silhouette of my mother running from our minivan. Her warm embrace was filled with remorse and love. She had only been gone for fifteen minutes, but it felt like years.